you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
