I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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