I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
