I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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