I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
