holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
