i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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