he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
