Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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