An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
