Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
