I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
