If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
