Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
