a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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