Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
