dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
