turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
