There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
