She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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