i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
