when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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