i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
