when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
