Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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