I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
