Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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