Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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