cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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