Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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