I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
