You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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