wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
