She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
