shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
not ubering you a puppy
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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