Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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