Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
