she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You pole danced in your parka.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
