i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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