I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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