did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
