I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
