I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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