home. puking in laundry basket.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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