So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
