Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
