Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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