he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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