Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
