so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
